Mystical Journey. . . Through the Bowels of Le Sex Shop.

It was like a whole forest of toys and gadgets and fun. I wish I knew what cock ring size I was. To those of you who say dildos don't grow on trees, I call you a dumbass. There was racks there that could compete with the mightiest of the mighty redwood. Then. . . there was another kind of rack. Those weren't too shabby either.

Some scary shit there. Twenty-Four Inch double dong. If those words don't scare you, nothing will. I could picture a Highlander wielding this thing and cutting through knights. And worlds. Note to all Porn Manufacturers: The Ano-Clito-Vagifier is NOT and attractive name for a dildo. . .

Best of all, there was Snoop Dawg porn. Snoop Dawg wasn't nude himself, but girls did do it in his lap. No Snoop Doggy Dong. Money really can buy happenis. I guess even porno can drop names. But I don't think dildos ever win academy awards.

Orgasm spray, Anti-orgasm spray, Lube, and De-lube. Giant hunks of rubber shaped like giant hunks of pussy. Danny stands in awe. He couldn't even use the arcade. He doesn't even see what hit him.

A double dong of death.

�

---Danny