These are diary entries.
exploding - 11:34 p.m. 11.23.2001
�����I am officially exploding, as of. . .

�����Now.

�����I've been lied to SO goddamn much and I TRY to believe everyone and remain naieve. I have trouble even believing the girl I love. That is, I believe her unconditionally, but some small speck of doubt just WON'T go away. I'd beat it with a fucking club if I could. I just canNOT get past what happened.

�����I really have tried. Hard.

�����I pride myself on being this stone-faced, emotionless rock. I never show emotion to anyone but Alena. Except about this. Yet somehow, I also like to think I'm so open with people. So, there it is. I'm honest with everyone. . . but myself. That's probably it. I just can't admit when and that I ever have problems. So, I pretend I don't. Meanwhile, I'm a dick to the girl I love and a complete fraud to everyone I don't. The opposite to how I should be.

�����I really want to call Steve tommorow. It'd be the first time I ever really heard the dick's voice. Just hear from him what goes on, though I know what it will be. I just wish I could have one brief chance to express how utterly I dispise his existance. Never have I hated anyone like this.

�����As of now, 1:09 AM, 11-23-01, I am officially miserable. With OR without Alena. Just sickened at what a dick I am. Maybe tommorow I'll wake up fresh and clean.

�����And if birds had wings, they wouldn't bump their butts when they hopped. . .

Funny Part: Once college comes, this shit won't even matter. . .
---Danny

Prev || Next || Archive
DiaryLand
Song Of The Moment:

Game Of The Moment: