Bar Mitzvah! - 12:29 a.m. 06.30.2003
Oh. My. God. I went to a Bar Mitzvah last night. The first I've been to in a couple years. And though I could relate to you the fun I had there, the dancing me and Oli did, and the pain of one kid trying to pull off my "fake" nipple piercing, I'd much rather relate the hilarity the Bar-Mitzvah-Boy caused.
Adam is now officially the funniest kid in the universe.First second we walk up:
"Hey guys! I've already had two drinks! The bartender here is Mexican! (That means he's stupid.)" Waiter walks up:
::Adam yoinks an hors d'oeuvre:::
::Takes one bite, makes a face, puts it back on the tray::
::Waiter looks not-know-what-to-do::
Adam: "I'm just kidding." Hired Pro is painting a shirt for a kid:
Adam simply begins thrusting an eggroll toward his butt.
Slowly getting louder chanting "Take it. Take it. Take it."
Man ignores it.
I've never seen someone act more pro. "Hey, guys. This is my cousin Danelle. She's sixteen. That's near you guys. One of you should bone her." Grandma comes:
"Oh, Adam, could you hold my purse for a second?"
Adam: "I could, but I might jizz all over it."
::Grandma leaves::
Adam: "What? I didn't want to hold it." ------------------------ Finally, I leave you with one final movie-spoiling observation Marteney made about "The Hulk". They fried the Hulk with fire. The froze him in ice. The hit him with electricity and tried to deprive him of air, and none of it worked. In the end, the only thing that beat him was Heart. The most worthless Planeteer power of all.
Heart.
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