ding dong, the... - 12:32 p.m. 04.02.2005
�����So, I just found out the pope is dead, and I feel like being topical. Like an ointment.
�����Being a Jew, this doesn't really have any far reaching implications for me, but it does leave me with questions.
�����So, how exactly do we replace the pope, the holy word of god? I was sort of hoping it would be a world wide raffle, and I'd have a chance. Otherwise, a complex system of drawing straws, with an overly complex system of pullies and prayers that I wouldn't understand, but would still be free to try.
�����Jes informs me that the next, new hat-guy must be someone who has performed a miracle. A fully qualified miracle. But, I mean, who decides what counts as a miracle?
�����I can beat Super Mario World in 11 levels, in 15 minutes. That's pretty miracle.
�����I wanna be the guy who gets to tell people they performed a miracle; I hope that job is drawn by straws. "Sorry, your Popeship, weaving thread into gold for orphins is just too cliche..." "Holy crap Max, you got a word in edgewise with me, Marteney, and Matt?! Miracle!"
�����You think if the Pope himself decides what's a miracle, the system is a little unfair? Kinda pass-down and inherited? Wasn't this guy Jon-Paul the... 5th, or some thing? (/Jew). Can't he just hand Popeship to whoever he wants?
�����"Um, yea, guys... this is my cousin Larry. He performed a miracle, and he's going to be your Pope now. Please give him the hat, and have a dragon keep him in a bubble."
"Oh, what miracle, you say?"
"He, ahh... He turned beer... into pee.
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