�����Last night, I go for a walk. I'm on the phone with a friend and I've been outside, I dunno, like twelve seconds. I just stepped out. And this man is walking toward me. Shirt off. Dirty lookin'. Probably homeless.
�����And he's just locking eyes with me. Full on. Not flinching or looking away. So, I keep walking; he keeps walking. Finally, just as we cross eachother's paths, right as he hits that horizontal line with me, he just starts barking. Like a dog. And he keeps walking and I keep walking and neither of us break stride.

�����Minutes later, I'm walking by a bar. People gathered all over in front. Pretty normal. Three girls are walking ahead of me talking/giggling. Suddenly, they stop and one bends over and gets full-on spanked by another. I cut myself off midsentence on the phone just to utter "Kiiiinda hot" and keep talking. Next thing I know, one of the girls is just charging ahead of me, skirt pulled up, ass hangin out to the wind. And, well, to me. And no, no undies.
�����It happens twice.

�����Just now, I'm eating outside. Sitting on a bench in a little plaza(?), eating a bagel. And a dude is sitting next to me. Making this clicking sound with his teeth. And, as I eat, I notice this clicking sound is coreographed perfectly to every time I take a bite of my bagel. Every time it enters my mouth, he clicks. Finally, I finish and get up. He yells at me "Hey. I didn't get any!".
�����Weeeell, yea. Of course. It's my bagel, I'm thinking... After hearing his explanation, he deserved the whole thing....
�����"I made you chew that bagel! Every time you took a bite, it's because I clicked to make you do it!" "Noooo. Every time I took a bite, you clicked after it." "Yea, but that's how I knew when you were gunna do it. By watching. Then, I knew to click to make you chew." "So, by the same token, I bit to make you click, and you clicked to make me chew. You might have helped, but I initiated the process. The bagel is mine." "But you couldn't have chewed without me." "I still did the hard work. If you wanted some, you should have just chewed it yourself."
�����And I walk off. And I'm still not sure if he was joking or not...

�����Two shortened stories: I just saw the worst seeing eye dog ever. Walking circles and sniffing trash and literally walking the girl into a wall. God, I felt bad. And secretly laughed.
�����I think I neglected to tell you that I found another mini-riot two nights ago. This city is freaking crazy. It's probably something hidden in the crack.

�

---Danny